itsbeautifuloutside

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⚽️ IBO Reporter: OneBeat

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It’s Portugal, so we get Jose Fonte as a pundit. He seems to have different glasses for each appearance. My mate had finished work and let me know he was also watching the game, so I was expecting a flurry of text messages throughout.

During the anthems at every game, there are the people who will gather up the big flags standing there grinning in the background; it always amuses me. I can’t help finding the singing of anthems odd, and the covering your heart with a hand even more so. I guess I just don’t get patriotism and being proud of the bit of land you happen to have been born on. I just want them to get on with the game.

The dog had been out in the garden in the rain and wouldn’t let me dry her off properly, repeatedly attacking the towel. She then jumped up on the sofa and settled next to me, so the game started, accompanied by the odour of a damp dog.

The camera focussed on the two captains meeting for the coin toss. Ronaldo did an exaggerated point after wining the toss and being asked which way Portugal wanted to kick off.

Incoming text: Are Portugal silly for still picking Ronaldo?

My heart always sinks a bit when Danny Murphy’s voice is heard. Is he the dullest co-commentator of them all?

The game kicked off, and it was all France right from the start; it took Portugal a few minutes to get a proper bit of possession, but when they did, they were able to take the sting out of the French play.

Incoming text: The Portuguese midfield will be doing a lot of running to make up for Ronaldo.

There was a Portsmouth flag displayed in the French half and a Feyenoord flag in the Portuguese half; neither Portugal nor France had as many flags as you’ll see when England plays.

All of a sudden, Portugal sprang into life and raced down their left wing, but the whipped-in cross was nowhere near Ronaldo; even in his prime, he wouldn’t have got anywhere near a ball like that.

French keeper Maignan then received a back pass; he easily collected it and then somehow managed to stumble over it and concede a corner. He redeemed himself when he came and easily claimed the ball that was floated in.

Incoming text: Might be controversial, but is Mbappe a little overrated? Reply: No, I don’t think so.

Portugal were having a period where they were on top, winning several corners, but none of them were very well executed. It was then France’s turn to spring an attack, but Diogo Acosta saved the shot from Hernandez well.

Text: You just know Rafael Leão will be subbed off first.

Leão was, at that point, causing France lots of problems down the left but had been substituted early in the previous game despite being just as effective.

In Portugal’s next attack Ronaldo clashed heads with a defender while they ran next to each other. It wasn’t a very hard bump; it may have hurt a bit, but I didn’t think it should have caused him to go down like he did.

Portugal were dropping deeper and kept giving the ball to France, but nothing really came from it as the French attack struggled to create anything meaningful.

Portugal, on the other hand, won their fifth corner of the game (France had not won a corner at all at that point), it was another poor effort, and Salina won it, instigating a French break. Kante carried the ball to the halfway line, then fed Mbappe, who shrugged off a defender, got to the byline, and pulled it back to Camavinga, who couldn’t get his shot on target.

The game carried on, but neither team looked like scoring.

Text: Brilliant cross - says Murphy........it went straight to a French defender! Reply: It's good to know he has his penguin book of football commentator cliches with him Text: Oh, I hope he says, "This game needs a goal”

Towards the end of the half, the game was being played in the Portuguese half, but Portugal periodically broke and went at the French defence. They coped well until just before halftime when they gave away a free kick about ten yards outside the area. Ronaldo lined up to take it, and the commentary team started talking about Ronaldo’s poor free-kick record in major tournaments when Fernandez took them by surprise and hit it over the bar. The TV pictures were still showing Ronald at the time.

Half time: 0-0

Text: It’s all been a bit cautious Reply: It's been ok, until each side gets to the area, then it's poor.

During the first half, every time the commentator mentioned Cancelo’s name, it made me think of the bit in The Clash song ‘Spanish Bombs’ that goes “yo te quiero” I have no idea why. The same thing happened when he was at Man City too. So I spent halftime singing that song to myself as I made the tea.

Neither coach made any subs at half time and it was Portugal who kept the ball for the first two minutes before a poor cross went straight to Maignan in the French goal. Then France broke, Cancelo won a tackle, then gave it away on the edge of the area. Mbappe was put through, but his shot was well held by Diogo Costa.

Up the other end, Nuno Mendes darted into the area and went down. The ref gave a goal kick, replays showed he dived.

Text: So why is VAR not punishing diving? Reply: Why didn’t the ref punish the dive?

Portugal won a corner from their next attack; the ball found Bernardo Silva at the far post, and his header hit Mbappe in the face from close range. He went down and looked in pain; he threw off his mask and held his nose.

Each team then had a period of attacking, but neither could make the final ball count.

Text: What is up with these teams when they get to the penalty box?

Then Rafael Leão burst into the French area and took the ball down to the byline, but before he could shoot or pick out a teammate, Camaviga made an excellent tackle.

Portugal were not letting up, and Bruno Fernandez had a shot that caused Maignan to make a brilliant save before Cancelo shot wide from the rebound.

They had a better chance straight away; Rafael Leão ran down the left and found Vitinha, but Maihnan saved again. The rebound fell to Ronaldo, who tried to backheel it into the net, but it was bundled out for a corner.

Then, it was France’s turn. Kolo Muani took a shot, but Ruben Dias made a brilliant block. They went close again soon after, but Camaviga shot wide.

Portugal took Bruno Fernandez off and replaced by Conceição, but Ronaldo was still on despite not really being in the game.

As the game reached 80 minutes, it slowed down again for a couple of minutes, then out of nowhere, Portugal attacked, and Conceição was brought down on the edge of the area. It was a foul, and Salina had put his arm across Conceiçã’s chest, but he went down and rolled around holding his face.

Ronaldo hit the wall with the free kick.

Text: We are going to have another 30 minutes of this.

As that text came in, Kante broke for France but shot straight at Diogo Costa, who saved easily. The same thing happened a minute later.

Portugal had another shot blocked before Thuram broke and got into a race with Pepe. He beat him, but there was no French player in the box, so Thuram went on his own, then Pepe got back and tackled him. He celebrated like he’d scored the winner; it was exceptional play from the 41-year-old at the end of the match.

The corner was cleared to Mbappe, he curled a shot in, but it was easily saved.

And that was it, and we’re into extra time.

During the break, while the rest of the players got instructions, Ronaldo had two masseuses working on his legs.

Text: Wish I could get a leg rub after 90 minutes at work. Ronaldo has moved the least, and he is getting thorough leg rubs.

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Extra time:

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Text: Jota and Ramos must be thinking what do they need to do to get on the pitch.

The commentary team then said much the same thing about Ramos but concluded that Ronaldo might do something special because “he’s capable of it.”

Then the ball reached Ronaldo in the middle of the penalty area, in a bit of space, but he shot miles over.

The teams continued to take turns attacking; Dembélé ran towards the Portugal area; it opened up for him to shoot, but he passed to Mbappe, who wasn’t in as good a position. He worked the ball inside and shot, but Pepe blocked it. And celebrated again.

Rafael Leão was still on and had the next chance, but his shot was blocked. With all the attacking talent on the pitch, it had been the defenders who had been the stars for both teams.

Mendez had the next attack for Portugal; he was pulled back but still fed Conceição, but his shot was terrible.

The Portuguese fans started up a constant chant, which didn’t stop during the short break at the end of the Extra time’s first half.

France prepared to substitute Mbappe. Gary Lineker mentioned that he has been struggling with his nose, not sleeping and is still in pain, but Jermaine Jenas thought he should just carry on because penalties were 15 minutes away.

Mbappe sat on the bench holding a bag of ice on his nose while Barcola came on, and Jenas fumed! Maybe he was thinking more of the team than Ronaldo does.

The second half of extra time was being played at walking pace, then Dembélé broke, cutting inside, working a bit of space, but then shooting over the bar.

Text: This game has not really got going, has it. Reply: It's like there's a little burst of energy from one side, and then they go back to walking. Then, the other side has a go. And repeat.

The ref gave a foul against Ronaldo from a Portuguese corner; Ronaldo looked perplexed that the decision hadn’t gone his way.

France broke once again, but a misplaced pass on the edge of the Portuguese area allowed Portugal to rush up the other end, but Mendez shot straight at the keeper. France went straight up the other end, and Thuram ran into the box, but brilliant defending stopped him. And that was it. Penalties loomed.

The pundits had written off France, mainly due to their poor record in shootouts and also because Diogo Costa had saved every penalty he faced in the round before. Portugal won the toss and strangely decided that they would go second.

• France: Dembele scored. 1-0
• Portugal: Ronaldo scored. 1-1
• France. Fofana Scored. 2-1
• Portugal: Silva scored. 2-2
• France: Kounde scored. 3-2
• Portugal: Joao Felix hit the post. 3-2
• France: Barcola scored. 4-2
• Portugal: Mendes scored. 4-3
• France: Hernandez scored. 5-3

And with that, France were through.

French players ran onto the pitch from the bench while Ronaldo consoled a weeping Pepe.

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⚽️ IBO Reporter: Spot51

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I have covered all of Switzerland’s matches, so I am well aware of the danger they can pose to England’s progress. They are one of the tournament’s most effective teams but, as we have seen, that is no guarantee of success in matches where individual brilliance can change games.

England is a team reliant on its stars. Frankly, we have been rotten. Our team is way short of the sum of its parts but exceptional individuals have dragged us into the business end of Euro 24.

The Swiss start the same XI who saw off previous champions Italy in the last round. They are solid at the back, and Xhaka drives them with pacey forwards and wingbacks, dragging opponents where they’d rather not be. They have scored 7 times with 7 different scorers.

England have 4 goals (Bellingham and Kane both with 2). The worst kept secret was Gareth was going 3-4-3 to match the Swiss with Konsa in for the suspended Guehi. This proved to be true, but everyone assumed that Saka would be left wingback and Trippier right. Not so - Gareth kept Saka right and kept Trippier, where his lack of a left foot had constrained our left side for the past 4 games. At least we had Foden and Jude as dual #10s playing closer to Harry and able to exert greater influence than stuck out on the wings.

A word of praise for Gareth Southgate before we start. He is an obstinate coach. He has intense loyalty to his favourite players, which we sometimes find frustrating, but the results show that they deliver for him. Today is his 100th game since moving up to the top of the greasy pole, and he is the first England coach to reach 4 consecutive quarter-finals (and beyond) at major tournaments.

We had a Scummer on duty with Alan Shearer alongside BBC’s Guy Mowbray. We had a tentative few minutes as both sides tested each other out. Both keepers got early touches and Konsa came through his first test, closing down a Swiss attack.

On 7m, Jude played one of his trademark long passes beyond the defence; Saka collected but up went the flag. The Swiss then enjoyed a period of pressure with N’Doye breaking forward. Mainoo tidied up on the edge of the box. The next ball in was met by Stones and whacked away.

England then had their attacking moments. Rice and Kane had shots blocked, and Mainoo made a great run into the box, but Sommer was able to pounce on the ball. The obvious big improvement in England’s approach was pressing higher up the pitch, and it was putting pressure on the Swiss. I’ve seen them breeze through games, but for the first time, there were concerned looks on their faces.

The one thing that was not working for England was their captain. He looked out of sorts. On 21m, Saka breezed past Aebischer, got to the line and squared a glorious pass, just needing a touch. Kane was nowhere near - WTF?

Six minutes later, Saka delivered the same ball with the same result. In my notes, I wrote, “Kane moving like a piece of furniture”. Both teams were up for it yet neither keeper had yet made a save.

Scotland are the only side that have man-marked Xhaka in what was his least effective game. Here, he was seeing less of the ball, but when he did, the Swiss broke with pace. Both Stones and Konsa were kept on their toes, fending off the red tide. By the half-hour, Saka had swapped wings with Trippier. The Swiss had not won a corner, England had 2 - the first Kane headed miles off target and the next was taken short and ended up with Pickford.

On 32m, Jude was unceremoniously upended by Schar, who was booked. He soon got a chance to get forward, but when the ball arrived, his attempted cross sailed close to row Z. Jude was definitely seeing more of the ball, although the lack of movement in front of him meant that Saka was often the only option he had.

Pickford had been getting stick from pundits for kicking long all the time. I was looking out for it today and it was true. Unless it bounced off the furniture, it went through to Sommer. Elsewhere, Mainoo continued to play well, and my understanding of the handball rule was not improved by Freuler stopping a Trippier cross with his arm with no sanction.

On 37m, Jude and Saka created a good opportunity. Jude put the ball wide, and Saka, back on the right, played a low ball to complete the 1-2. Thinking Harry was backing him up, Jude stepped over it: no, Harry…

At this point, I will stop taking the piss out of our captain. Watching German football makes me aware of how Harry has coped with injury at Bayern. He has been carrying a back injury and his love for the game has seen him play through pain. Had he been fit, he’d have broken the all-time Bundesliga scoring record. He was clearly struggling here and should have been withdrawn.

On 43m, two of England’s brighter stars combined. Saka fed Mainoo, but Xhaka came to his side’s aid with a crunching block. Foden swung in the corner, and Sommer collected.

There was no added time. Half time - still 0-0.

It was not a great game, but England have given the Swiss more problems than previous opponents. Having Jude and Foden narrower has given Mainoo more opportunities to carry the ball forward as he does for his club. It is still in the balance, but with better individuals, Southgate’s lads retain a “puncher’s chance”.

England began the second half on the front foot but the well-oiled Swiss back line got their blocks in. On 50m, a ball up to Embolo saw him turn Konsa and hit a shot. It was a routine save for Pickford but also the first shot on target by either side. The next chance also fell to Embolo as he met Rodriguez’s cross. It was again saved easily because Konsa stopped the striker, getting a clear run at the ball.

England continued to dominate the ball but looked vulnerable to the speed with which they were counter-attacked. N’Doye’s burst down the left won them a first corner. The short corner didn’t work but did result in a second which was crossed. England got the ball out, but with Kane defending back, it came as the Swiss piled on the pressure.

Swiss fans sang much louder than before as their side began to dominate, and just after the hour, Yakin made his first changes: Widmer for Vargas and Zuber for Rieder. Zuber’s first job was to defend, and he got lucky when his intervention resulted in a goal kick, not a corner. At the other end a limp defensive header by Stones allowed Aebischer to volley from the edge of our box. Thankfully, he caught it wrong and ballooned it over.

Harry Kane was clearly struggling in his physical battle with Akanji. He was decidedly unlucky to be booked when the pair of them fell over in an untidy heap. The Swiss were already seeing benefits from their subs, yet nothing from England, and Shearer was fuming (again)!

On 74m, the Swiss went ahead. Schar cut in from the right to play a straight ball into our box. N’Doye ran onto it and put a cross over. Stones glanced it on past Pickford but it would have gone wide had Embolo not lunged, got a toe to the ball and put it over the line. 1-0.

There was a sudden flurry of activity in our dugout and, within minutes, off came Konsa, Mainoo and Trippier, replaced by Eze, Palmer and the lesser spotted Luke Shaw. All was well; we had a Scummer on the pitch!

It seemed that Shaw was part of the back three, Eze in front of him as a wing-back and Palmer ahead of Saka as a right winger. Anyhow, it was very much game on. The equaliser came swiftly. Perhaps the Swiss were still adjusting to our changes, but when Rice squared the ball to Saka, he did not, this time, go down the line. Instead, he came inside, worked himself some space, then curled a sweet shot beyond Sommer and in off the post. 1-1. Our fans (and pundits) went wild!

The last 10 minutes were tense. Both sides wanted a winner but feared conceding more. Everything became very deliberate, very predictable. Palmer had a go down the left; Widmer (just back from suspension) fouled him and collected a third yellow card. Luke created space for Eze, but he pulled his shot wide. Another free kick won but Foden’s ball was plucked out of the air by Sommer. Three added minutes to play.

It was the Swiss who created the final chance as Schar crossed from the right. N’Doye had a simple header to win it but, in front of him, Embolo stretched and touched it away. Instead, the ball reached Zuber, who lashed at it and sent it skywards. 1-1, so extra time for two tired teams at the end of a long season.

I’ve never watched Walking Football, but I imagine it would be much like the final 30 minutes of this match. Everything was done methodically with none of the spontaneity that makes football great. It was no risk - no reward time.

Both sides created - the first shot by Schar was lashed way over the bar. A much better attempt at the other end came from Rodriguez heading out Eze’s cross. It fell to Rice, who hit it low and hard, forcing Sommer to dive full length to turn it away. Eze’s corner was cleared.

The next Swiss change saw Zakaria’s first appearance, on for N’Doye. Schar was given a final warning by the Ref for a blatant trip on Eze. One more like that, and he is off. Both Foden and Jude try shots from distance. Both are blocked, but the latter collects the rebound and forces a save from Sommer. At the break, it is still level.

The Swiss start the final 15m better, but Eze does his wingback thing by cutting out Widmer’s cross and then carrying it forward. As Kane and Akaji tussle on the touchline, Harry is shoved into Southgate and ends up sprawled in front of England’s bench. The skipper has not been right all game so he is replaced by Ivan Tony. At the same time, Yakin sends on Shaqiri for Embolo. Both subs are penalty specialists…

A couple of Swiss attacks - the first again seen off by Eze, then another ambitious but off-target shot from Schar. The next change was Liverpool’s penalty taker TAA on for Foden. Another Swiss move involving Shaqiri and Zuber provides Widmer with a crossing chance. This time it is Saka in the way. Shaqiri trots over to take the corner. He tried to score. Pickford would probably have saved it, but the ball nicked the front post and carried on.

Two more Swiss subs came on. Aebischer and Freuler were replaced by Sierro and Amdouni - I am not sure about Sierro’s record from the spot, but the Burnley man will fancy one. Indeed, he nearly got a winner when played in by Xhaka, but Pickford made a solid save. Up the other end, Saka worked another chance, but a red shirt was in the way. Time is up. Penalty shootout time again…

I was at Wembley in 96 when Gareth took and missed our 6th penalty against Germany and watched on TV three years back as Rashford, Sancho and Saka missed our last three penalties. I knew we were nailed on to win this time. Admittedly, we had taken off the Newcastle and Bayern penalty-takers but could now use the spot-kick specialists from Chelsea, Real Madrid, Arsenal, Brentford and Liverpool.

Looks like we won both tosses so Palmer was up first at the England end. Bang 1-0. Akanji is a class defender but not a recognised penalty taker. He hits the target, but Pickford dives to his left. Stops it - still 1-0.

Bellingham and Schar up next. Both penalties were unstoppable, so 2-1.

Then came Saka, scorer of umpteen penalties since that Wembley miss. Nailed it. Shaqiri’s was even better. Pickford went the right way, but the ball was past him. It was now 3-2.

Toney never looks at the ball. Tucks it low to Sommer’s left. 4-2, and already it is “sudden death”. Amdouni has to score. He waits for Pickford to go, then rolls into the centre, so 4-3.

Next up, Trent. This is to put England into the semi-final. He leathers high into the top corner, giving the keeper no chance. 5-3, and we are off to Dortmund next Wednesday.

Spoiler alert: we face the Netherlands who saw off the Turks.

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⚽️ IBO Reporter: TheBeast

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Well, I thought I got stuck with reviewing this, turns out it was the game of the quarter-finals! Before reading any of the rest of this rambling review written the day after the game, can I say that if you haven't seen this match, catch up on it. It was a great game to watch. Especially if you weren't Dutch or Turkish.

Both of these teams went straight at it right from the beginning, none of this "let's not lose" business… Right from the outset, the Netherlands were gunning for it; they came close a couple of times, although inexplicably, Cody G couldn't seem to understand the offside rule on far too many occasions in the first half.

Anyway, after the first 10 minutes, the Netherlands flurry sort of disappeared; they had a lot of the ball but never really did much with it except run straight into a massed defence, which was always looking for a chance to break.

And break they did, and whenever they did, they looked like they could cut through the Netherlands. Initially, Virgil and Co looked like they could handle it, but that got increasingly ragged as the game went on.

Anyway, somehow Turkey got a corner they shouldn't have got (after getting a corner and they should have got and doing nothing with it) and low and behold, a thundering header from a centre-back again meant Turkey scoring. Special mention should go to 1 of the Turkey wonderkids, Arda Güler; the kid was really up for this game and, for large parts of it, very influential for Turkey (including providing the assist in their goal). I’m not sure about the other wunderkid, Yildiz. I can see there’s something there with him, but it’s not there yet; AG, though he's a player… Watch this space.

After that, it was the irresistible force (with absolutely no likelihood of them scoring) against the immovable object (Turkey looked totally safe). Xavi Simons was particularly wasteful, getting into good positions and then fluffing it again and again. It takes some balls to have "Xavi" on the back of your shirt, and you've really got to be something special to get away with that… Next time He wears a shirt, I think it needs to say "Simons" because the other name doesn't fit.

Then half-time came, Ronald had a think, and then we were off to the races again.

Ronnie brings on big WW (Weghorst), arguably something he should have done right from the beginning, to be honest, and the complexion of the game changes.

Yes, Turkey had chances; there was a wonderful freekick from Güler which came off the post and Yildiz, who I earlier cast aspersions about, could have had a game-changing goal except for Verbruggen, the Dutch goalkeeper who kept the Netherlands in the game with a brilliant save.

WW had more chances; arguably, he should have done better with them, and then, oh surprise, from a corner, De Vrij, the Dutch centre-back, was completely unmarked on the penalty spot and thundered a header home. Then the Dutch, who up to that point looked like they were about to buckle under the pressure despite constant attempts at goal, suddenly sensed blood.

Six minutes later, they were in the league. Denzel Dumfries, who up to that point had a very variable game involving a lot of jousting with his Turkish counterpart on that flank, came up with a doozy of a cross and Cody G, suddenly figuring out the offside rule, thundered in from the back post. It would have been his goal, but the Turkey defender MM (Muldur) got there first and nicked it off his toe (and into the back of the net).

The Netherlands were in the lead for the first time in the game. You could see them visibly relieved.

After that, Turkey really pushed it. There were some substitutions from them which had some effect, but the quality of the people coming on was arguably not as good as the ones going off, but it did give them more energy, and they obviously had more of a purpose attacking than they did trying to keep the lead they had.

Although that sounds a bit unfair, at no point during this game did Turkey not try and attack. It's just they did it by breaking against the Netherlands; you can’t say it was sustained pressure; what they did was sit back and wait, and then Sally forward as quickly as they could (and they could indeed Sally quickly).

There were chances at both ends towards the end, and again, the Dutch goalkeeper pulled off a wonderful save to deny Turkey (Semih Kilicsoy); there was shouting and gesticulating on the sidelines and a Turkish player who never even got a game, managed to get a red card.

But then it was all over.

I didn't want Turkey to win; I don’t like fascist governments, and Turkey has one of the biggest fascist governments around; that makes me predisposed to want them to lose; that's not even thinking about the defender and the "grey wolves" gestures. But the fact of the matter is they deserved to win this game; they simply had a greater percentage of players playing better (not better players) and better play than the Dutch did.

Despite that, Ronald and his team had more nous, at times better luck, and when it came down to it, a few individuals could make more of a difference than the greater percentage of better players that the Turkish team had on the day.

The Netherlands had won… Somehow… Almost in spite of themselves.

However, I don't want you to think that the Netherlands will be easy for England; I think they are entirely capable of turning England over.

England can beat them as well; it just depends on who actually plays proper football on the day; both England and the Netherlands CAN be great football teams. They can also be directionless, uncoordinated messes… Both of them… Gonna be interesting… England, I think, were lucky Turkey got knocked out. I believe after the performance against love the looks that Turkey would have thrashed them.

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