itsbeautifuloutside

Match Report

---

IBO Reporter: OneBeat

---

For days now I have been badgered by a workmate periodically saying “football’s coming home” and planning a sick day for the day after the World Cup final. It’s only half tongue in cheek. On my way out of work I saw an England flag flying at half mast outside the Civic Centre in Southampton. A sign? Not being the superstitious type I’d say not.

The good news for England is that James Rodríguez is out injured. Shame really, I usually enjoy watching him play. England start with the same team that lined up against Tunisia.

The match being shown on ITV means a dream team of Clive Tyldesley and Glenn Hoddle commentating, so plenty of feckwittery will no doubt ensue.

(This match report consists of the notes I made as the game progressed and the communication I had with friends and family. I haven't edited them at all, this is all "as it happened")

It’s early but England are pretty much constantly attacking. Shots are blocked, corners and free kicks are won. Yet the final ball is always lacking. Trippier latches onto a good pass from Alli and his deep cross was headed onto the top of the net by Kane from a tight angle.

22 minutes in and Colombia have their first proper shot, and that went high over the bar.

Colombia now take a turn keeping the ball. Glenn Hoddle wants them to hit it long sometimes!

Loud whistles from the Colombian fans every time England have possession of the ball. England fans responded with a rendition of ‘Rule Britannia’, which always confuses me.

30 minutes: S and me discuss the fact that there hasn’t been lot of quality from either side so far, and as we were discussing this I got a text from my mate Sam saying “It’s a bit pants.”

39 minutes, and a scuffle breaks out as England line up to take a free kick. Henderson was headbutted by Barrios, it was more of a nuzzle really, starting on the chest and moving to the chin, and the ref gave him a yellow card despite Henderson falling to the ground holding his face. When all that had died down, the ref puts down his white spray for the Colombian wall, they complain so he did another slightly nearer the ball.

England are having the majority of the ball, but nothing comes of it. The first half ends with things getting very tetchy, and not a lot of decent footer being played.

Half Time: I took the bins out rather than listen to the idiots in the studio, then answered several texts and emails from people who are “enjoying” it as much as me.

The second half begins and all I want is some decent football to watch.

Arias gets a yellow card for pushing Kane in the back, Kane went down holding his head.

The free kick results in a corner, and from that corner England get a penalty for another foul on Kane. Once again it seems defenders think that rugby tackles are a perfectly legitimate way of stopping a forward and seem perplexed when a penalty is awarded.

After a huge delay while Colombia argue try to unsettle Kane, and scuff up the penalty spot, Kane scored. It went straight down the middle, which I‘m not keen on, I’d rather penalties were taken Rickie Lambert style, smashed high into the net.

Colombia seem more interested in gamesmanship and rolling around. I reckon they should try playing some footer instead.

Two texts arrive. One from B reminding me she has Kane as her World Cup Fantasy football captain, and the other from my workmate saying “Football’s coming home.” I’m not sure “feck Off” was the response he was expecting.

Alli could have scored a second for England but heads wide at the far post. Colombia go mad again saying that, in the build up, Maguire dived in the area, which to be fair he did, although he didn’t claim a penalty (some other England players did though).

Falcao has lost his head. He’s going mad at every decision that goes against Colombia, constantly in the referee’s face. He’s already been booked too.

Hoddle: “Anther great ball in from Young.” This was a free kick that was too high for Kane to get a connection on, and sailed out of play for a goal kick. Kane was offside but still, the ball in was over hit and far from being “great.”

Lingard wants a penalty, I thought it was too on first viewing, but the referee has waved play on. Probably just as well, Falcao may just have exploded.

Walker makes a mistake but it’s not punished by Columbia. He’s robbed in near the halfway line and they break quickly but Cuadrado blasts his shot over the bar.

England's turn to attack, but Lingard’s control is poor, and he not only fails to shoot or square it to Stirling, he gives a foul away.

England’s much praised set pieces aren’t very good tonight.

83 minutes, Colombia suddenly remember they are footballers and drive forward. England are reduced to lumping it clear, presenting possession straight back to Colombia. As I type that Vardy is getting ready to come on, so more lumping it long will be England’s tactic for the last few minutes.

Usually I want extra time so I can prolong my enjoyment of the game, but not tonight, I can’t wait for this to be over.

England overhit another free kick.

Five minutes of added on time.

The second added-on minute and Pickford makes a fantastic save from a long range Mojica shot.

And Colombia have scored from the corner, Mina rises and powers in a header that Trippier on the post can only help up into the net.

Another ruddy 30 minutes. Sheesh.

I’ve just sent my workmate a text to ask him to clarify whose home football is going to?

Colombia are the team doing all the attacking, although not really troubling Pickford.

Danny Rose comes on and I get a text from Sam saying “oh no, not Danny Rose.”

Colombia are still looking the more dangerous side, but still Falcao can’t hit the target.

Tyldesley says that the “eyes of a nation are watching.” I’m pretty sure it’s at least the eyes of two nations.

The first half of extra time ends and England have been on the back foot. Bringing on Vardy seems to have nullified Kane’s threat, he hasn’t been in the game for the last 15 minutes.

England kick off the final period, and straight away they lump it forward. It does lead to a shot from Vardy, but he is offside.

Text from Sam: “We needs the fans to start singing Rule Britannia.” Within five minutes they did!

Text from Sam: Quoting Hoddle; “’Vardy has got to put himself out there, not physically, pace-wise.’ What, Glenn?”

Again, England get hold of the ball, but Kane just lumps it forward towards Vardy, which only hands the ball back to Colombia.

Cripes. Danny Rose nearly scores. Running on to a Henderson pass he shoots across goal and it only just goes wide.

Rashford is on and England are on the attack again, they win a corner, only for Dier to head over.

Colombia should have had a corner themselves when Dier flicked a cross over the goal line, but only a goal kick was given.

England are having the better of this second period of extra time. But can’t make the break though.

And so…

---

PENALTIES

---

I do like a penalty shootout, and at least Shouthgate has had England practising them, unlike Glenn Hoddle’s “you can’t re-create the pressure” excuse for not practising. Let’s see who’s policy was right.

Colombia to go first…

• Falcao – Scores, it’s a thumping shot.
• Kane – Scores, a better penalty than he scored with earlier.
• Cuadrado – Scores. Another good penalty
• Rashford – Scores. He looked nervous, but it was a good, confident penalty.
• Muriel – Scores. So far each penalty has been very good.
• Henderson - Saved – I knew he’d miss as he cockily did keepy-ups on his way to the spot.
• Uribe - Hits the bar – He had a chance to put Colombia in the driving seat.
• Trippier – Scores. Again, a good penalty.
• Bacca - Saved - Pickford makes a great save, keeping it out with a strong arm as he dives to his right.
• Dier – Scores – Ospina got finger tips to the shot but couldn’t keep it out. Dier sets off towards Pickford with the rest of the team.

England win. I enjoyed the penalty shootout, it was miles better than the rest of the game.

---

I will now have to suffer the rest of the week of "football's coming home" and the England fans appearing out of nowhere who, yesterday, hated the World Cup ("I can't wait for Saturday, I'll be out in the streets.").

---